The Unified Field Theory of Dagobert’s Revenge
By Tracy R. Twyman
Originally written for Dagobert’s Revenge Magazine, Copyright 2001
(Does not necessarily represent author’s current viewpoint.)
Dagobert’s Revenge Magazine is based on a theory of history, a concept of theology, and a body of literature that exploded onto the public consciousness in the early 1980s with the publication of the best-selling Holy Blood, Holy Grail, by Michael Baigent, Henry Lincoln, and Richard Leigh. This book presented a radical new theory: that Jesus Christ did not die on the cross, but lived on to father children with his wife, Mary Magdalen, whose descendants intermarried with what became the Royal House of France. And it all started with Henry Lincoln’s investigation in the mystery of Rennes-le-Chateau.
It was in this tiny village in the south of France that a poor parish priest named Berenger Sauniere discovered four parchments that were to change his life, and the surrounding village, forever. Two of these parchments were genealogies of this magazine’s mascot, Dagobert II, the last of the Frankish dynasty of priest-kings known as the Merovingians. The other two contained ciphered messages which, when decoded, displayed the following:
“To Dagobert II, King, and to Sion belong this treasure and he is there dead.”
“Shepherdess — No temptation that Poussin and Teniers hold the key; Peace 681 By the cross and this horse of God I destroy this dÃ¦mon of the guardian at noon blue apples.”
After finding these parchments, this once-poor parish priest became suddenly and inexplicably wealthy, perhaps because of having found some buried treasure. He began hanging out with members of the Parisian upper-crust occult set, such as composer Claude Debussy and opera singer Emma Calve. He began redecorating his church and surrounding property in a most bizarre fashion, leaving behind strange clues in an effort to communicate to future generations the secret that he had learned from the parchments. These clues, many involving the use of occult, cabalistic, alchemical, Masonic, and Templar-oriented symbolism, seem to indicate the involvement of a secret society known as the Priory of Sion.
The Prieure de Sion (Priory of Zion) was a chivalrous fraternity created in medieval France with the purpose of preserving the Merovingian bloodline and returning them to the throne of France. They were officially founded as the Order de Sion by Godfroi de Bouillon, in either 1090 or 1099. This was just prior the First Crusade, which was also headed by de Bouillon. Their official headquarters was the Abbey of Notre Dame du Mont de Sion in Jerusalem. In March 1117 they had Baldwin I, King of Jerusalem (who, it is said, owed his throne to them due to their efforts on his behalf) negotiate the constitution of the Order of the Temple, A.K.A. the Knights Templar, as the military and administrative arm of the Order de Sion. The Templar order, which had already been around more than a decade, was headed by Hughes de Payen, who was also a founding member of the Order de Sion. They are not mentioned again in history until 1152, when King Louis VII of France brought them 95 new members and gave them the priory of Saint-Samson at Orleans.
The Templars, according to tradition, were created for the purpose of safeguarding pilgrims on the road to the Holy Land, and they are most famous for their brave fighting on behalf of Christiandom for the capture of Jerusalem. However, evidence indicates that this was not at all an orthodox Christian organization, but that their secret rituals and doctrine were much more mystical, hermetic, and occult-oriented, and derived not from the Church, but from Christ himself.
Now the Knights Templar had quite a career after the Crusades. They basically took over Europe financially, dominating all the major industries, especially that of money lending. They invented the modern checking system, and within a few years had all of Europe’s kings indebted to them. This is why, even though they were disbanded by the Pope and the Grand Master burnt at the stake for heresy, some people believe that the Templars still exist today, continuing to manipulate the affairs of Europe behind the scenes. The Swiss nation, especially, is believed to be controlled by them. The same can be said for the Priory of Sion, which continues to this day, according to the authors of Holy Blood, Holy Grail. In fact, a number of illustrious figures in history, including Leonardo da Vinci, Robert Boyle, Isaac Newton, Victor Hugo, Claude Debussy, and Jean Cocteau have served as the Priory’s Grand Masters, or Nautonniers (Navigators.) The Priory has been credited by some with the creation of the European Union. The same insignia which they proposed for the flag of the United States of Europe in the 1950s is being used on the flag of the EU today. Former President of France FranÃ§ois Mitterand was believed to be a member of the Priory, and many other very powerful people. They are also said to be in league with the CIA, MI5, and the Mafia. As for the Merovingians, their bloodline continues on. Through incestuous intermarriage, most of the royal families of Europe can claim descent from them. And from these royal families, have come all 43 of the United States Presidents.
Who exactly were the Merovingians, you may ask, and what is so special about them? They were the first kings of what is now France, the first to unify the kingdom, and the first to preside over the prototype of the Holy Roman Empire. They were granted the title of New Constantine in perpetuity by the Pope, some believe, because the Vatican recognized the descent of the Merovingian bloodline from that of Jesus Christ, who, according to this theory, was the husband of Mary Magdalen, and sired a child through her. Mary and her child later fled to France, were their descendants married into the local Visigothic nobility. This would explain why the Vatican granted the Merovingians the title New Constantine, in recognition of the descent from the King of Kings himself. It also explains why the Knights Templar wished to take control of Jerusalem — because they considered it their rightful inheritance. Christ, as the biological son of Joseph, was a descendant of King David, and therefore the rightful king of Jerusalem, so his descendants would have been as well. It would also explain why the Templars were called the “Guardians of the Grail,” and as many have pointed out, “Holy Grail” comes from the French word “Sangreal,” which could just as easily be translated as “royal blood,” meaning the bloodline of Christ.
But why, many have asked, if he was not the son of God, and did not die on the cross for our sins, should his bloodline be so important. If the people who ascribe to this theory do not believe in his divinity, why should they care about his descendants? This is something that has never been adequately explained in past genre literature, but we believe that we have the answer, which we will describe in full in our upcoming book. Fact is, Jesus was the “Son of God,” but not he pseudo-mystical force that supposedly impregnated Mary’s virgin womb. It goes back to King David, and further than that, to ancient Sumer, Atlantis, and the very beginnings of human history. For the kings of the ancient world were the “gods” whose rule is now recorded in the mythologies of every past and present culture across the globe, and their descendants are the human kings who have reigned since the Flood, when the gods left the Earth. The bloodline of Christ and King David, and of almost all royal houses throughout history can be traced back to these “gods” or Pre-diluvian kings. That is where the concept of kingship came from, and that is where all of our ancient traditions, religious principles, and all of the basic arts and sciences of civilization came from. And the secret hermetic doctrine of occultism, which is popular in the underground today, can be traced there as well.
The implications of our theory are absolutely mind-blowing. It synthesizes a number of facts and theories regarding history, folklore, secret societies, and occultism that have so far remained disparate, creating a “unified field theory” of the Grail mystery, where all interpretations of the Holy Grail — as a cup, a stone, a tablet, a secret doctrine, a spiritual experience, or a royal bloodline — are reconciled with one another. We are not saying that every part of our theory is absolutely correct, but with what we’ve learned we certainly can’t be all wrong. And if even a fraction of our theory is correct, then human history will have to be rewritten. The implications of what we have to present to you, in our forthcoming book, and in the future issues of this magazine, are positively staggering.
Enjoy reading Dagobert’s Revenge.